I am fed up with self care. Well, to be specific, I am fed up with the over use of the term, and the 2d way it has been boxed and packaged. It feels flat to me, there is a lack of depth when I hear it banded about. 'Self care' is feeling a little gimmicky, and the Good Lord knows I get annoyed with anything mainstream 😁

All joking aside, I do think we need to look a bit deeper than just a #selfcaresunday with a few crystals around the bathtub and a face mask.
Yes, those things are great and I love all that and then some, but it just isn't always enough.
Time to relax is crucial for my well being, but so are many other things.
Self care is dynamic. It changes as I change, it gets more basic when I have gone downhill, it is best when it is Spirit led, rather than navel gazing and stuck in tick box to do list of 'self care'. Caring for myself must run like a thread through all areas of my life if I am to really feel 'looked after' by me. For me it isn't just about pampering here and there, although that is a part in the whole picture.
One of the most caring things I found I can do for myself is having healthy boundaries with people, and living in cognitive consonance.
Living my truth, from the heart. Letting go of co-dependancy allows me to be less concerned with people pleasing and value my authenticity more. Stopping to pause and think about what I would really like.
Being able to say no is such a fruit of wholeness. And true, I have said "no" to going out, to instead sit in a bathtub with crystals and a facemask! "Hypocrite" they shout! I protest! 😄I genuinely think if I am to be dedicated to caring for myself, I must be willing to grow and explore the multiple layers of need within me.
Being enmeshed with others, empathetic tendencies, or needing validation from humans to feel 'alright' were all major factors in my inability to really show myself care and dedication. I was forever betraying myself. I always squeezed in the superficial stuff like long soaks and my hairdressing appointment, but I couldn't get passed the preliminary foundation of feeling I had my own back in life. Cognitive dissonance is fucking brutal.
Striving for wholeness and Oneness is a continual journey, this post comes as I explore an aspect of me I have wanted to forget, the child in me during a certain time when I really struggled to be me. Inner child work is a big part of me feeling I'm looking after myself.
Here are some ways I find helpful to look after myself:
- Being in nature
- Time alone
- Prayer and meditation
- Meetings for those who want to stay recovered from addictions
- Walking
- Mirror work
- Inner child work
- Being in or near water
- Making my home an enjoyable environment
- Forgiveness
- Excercise
- Rest
- Discarding of items that no longer bring me joy
- Bodytalk therapy sessions
- Spiritual studies
- Not overfilling my diary
- Setting realistic goals
- Asking for help
By no means have I got this shit down to perfection but I am feel far more like my own friend than ever. Less and less I abandon myself, and my trust grows.
Self care is different for everyone, it is just my wish that I never settle for something that is skin deep.
One day at a time.
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